Life Lessons
by YonderTiger
Summary: Sesshomaru's life lessons... along with a few other workings of his mind. One shot


**Life Lessons**

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When dealing with a small child who could potentially suffocate you with flowers, one must be on constant alert, and wary of the daffodil. Sesshomaru had lived by this rule since Rin had begun to follow him.

When dealing with a small youkai who could potentially talk you to death, one must be on constant alert and have a rock in hand. Sesshomaru had lived by this rule since Jaken had begun to follow him.

Ah-Un was there. No special rule for him. He didn't need one. Though, one could say that when dealing with a twin headed dragon, one must constantly be out the lookout for attacks… but Sesshomaru didn't have to worry about that. The dragon knew better…

When dealing with a pathetic, evil hanyou with extra tentacles, one must be on constant alert, and have a sword and icy comments ready. Sesshomaru had lived by this rule since he had first encountered Naraku.

Now, Sesshomaru himself was still slightly confused about this one. Where did those tentacles come from? Didn't spiders have legs, not tentacles? Could it be that the pathetic, evil hanyou was actually a jellyfish hanyou? Or maybe an octopus hanyou? Sesshomaru almost snorted. An octopus hanyou… what a site that would be. Naraktopus. That did make Sesshomaru chuckle. It was too bad no one heard his jokes, not that he would tell anyone anyways. Sesshomaru thought himself a right old comedian at times.

Sesshomaru was winding his way down a deserted forest pathway, along with his companions, constantly on alert, of course. At any moment, Naraktopus could show up, Jaken could start blabbering, or he could be mauled with an ocean of dandelions. Though, he considered the two latter possibilities more possible. Naraktopus always sent some form of distraction or something out ahead of himself, the coward. Sesshomaru almost chuckled again. He just killed himself sometimes!

Sesshomaru was having a rather pleasant day, whether one would believe it or not. No attacks in any form, be they physical or verbal. He was in so good a mood, Sesshomaru considered sharing one of his jokes with his companions.

Oh… never mind. There was Inuyasha's scent. Good mood gone.

The said hanyou burst through the surround woods a second later, sword drawn, and landed in a battle position.

When dealing with an overly loud and annoying hanyou with dog ears, one must be on constant alert, and have a pair of earplugs on one's person at all times. Sesshomaru had been living by this rule since Inuyasha was born.

The loud one began yelling his head off, convinced that Sesshomaru was chasing him around, hunting for Tetsusaiga, when the Taiyoukai had actually been only merely looking for a berry bush for Rin to pick some lunch from. Evidently, the hanyou didn't remember that _he _was the one doing the bursting in…

Sesshomaru was only half-listening though. He was busy trying to come up with a witty nickname for his half-brother. Loudyasha? No, too corny. Inuyashutup? Possibly, but it didn't have the right ring to it, he thought, his brow furrowing a bit. Ah well, he'd have to think more on it later, for said hanyou had decided to charge. The miko soon shooting an arrow at him, which missed, by the way. There was no way he was going to get killed like that. There was no pride in it! He could see the headline now: 'Taiyoukai killed by arrow shot by teenage girl in almost non-existent kimono'. Yes, one for the history books, he thought.

When dealing with an improperly dressed miko flinging arrows around like there's no tomorrow, one must be on constant alert, and watch out for possible arrows up the… er… and get used to hearing one's half brother's name shouted fifty times… yep… Sesshomaru had lived by this rule since he had first encountered the miko… Kagome. Of course he knew her name. His blasted half-brother almost deafened him with it every time they fought.

Sesshomaru's nicknameless half-brother left a while later, carrying a good amount of injuries. That was what he got for disrupting the taiyoukai's inner musings. Following him was the miko, completely out of arrows and sulking about her companion's condition. That was what she got for almost shooting an arrow up his… for shouting that blasted hanyou's retched name fifty times!

When one is the Taiyoukai of the West, one must constantly be one alert, and watch out for things that most others may not need to worry about. That, and come up with a nickname for one's half-brother. Inulouda? Naw... he'd get it eventually though. He always did.

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A/N: Whoo. Another one shot with (what I hope is) humor. Otherwise, I have in failed in my objective... hopefully, I made you at least chuckle.. This is result of staying up all night. It's after 6:30am now, and I still haven't been to sleep. Well, this is what happens when I don't sleep.. I write.. sometimes very odd things, to tell you the truth. Yup. Products of my mind... sheesh. Well, I hope you enjoyed it! 

Disclaimer: I don't own the hanyou, taiyoukai, miko.. so on and so forth. Nothing. Nada. Nein. Nichts. Got it? They all belong to Rumiko Takahashi, and I just used them above for my own, sleep-deprived enjoyment.


End file.
